Frequently Asked Questions [FAQ]
1. Q: What is your name sir? A: My name is Mohammad Uzair Akram.
2. Q: Your date and time of birth? A: August 29, 1979 [22:45 GMT + 5]
3. Q: Do you believe in Zodiac Signs and their relevance to our lives? A: Yes I do, just like I believe in the power and significance of alphabets and numbers.
4. Q: What else do you believe in sir?
A: Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Peace and Love.
5. Q: Would you label yourself as a bohemian sir? A: I believe labels are for jam jars and prescribed medications.
6. Q: Are you a non-conformist? A rebel without a cause? A man with a secret agenda? A: Can you please curtail your excitement and stick to the format of civilized conversations? I‟m here to answer your questions, one question at a time. If you‟re short on time, perhaps we can schedule another interview at a mutually convenient time…? “NO COMMENT, next question please.”
7. Q: What irritates you sir? A: Verbalization of unsolicited advice and opinions from friends, family and strangers. Anyone who tries to make my personal life their business. My Facebook profile is „public‟… I choose to share certain information with the rest of the world. Some matters, however, specially pillow talk between me and my one and only wife; Kanwal Anjum or between myself and Zoey Emaan Akram; my four year old daughter are private matters that I don‟t even disclose to my family and my wife has been requested to maintain the same degree of privacy.
8. Q: What brings you to Aga Khan University Hospital this time? A: I am a diagnosed bi-polar; sleep deprivation over a period of five days and nights like last month [April 2013] has brought me once again to AKUH in the first week of [May 2013].
9. Q: Was force used to bring you to AKUH? If yes, can you describe force[s]? A: Force[s] is always a part of the assistance process that requires my immediate presence at AKUH psychiatric ward C ~ 0. These include but are not limited to:
vi. Cross Dimensional
vii. Parallel Universal
10. Q: What is your current profession sir? A: I am the Chief Imagineering Officer at UECHO est. July 1st 2002, Karachi, Pakistan.
11. Q: What‟s your stance on piracy and the illegal distribution/duplication of art and music? A: I would humbly urge all of humanity to respect the artist[s] and their art[s] and say NO to piracy.
12. Q: Can u describe your physical state with reference to the injuries you have been receiving since April 2013? A: I received a severe blow from a rock to my left temporal lobe in April 2013 and some blows to my back and head in May 2013. This just means that I suffer from temporary physical shakes of my hands, an acute case of sciatica that requires me to use a walker/crutch when I walk and frequent swinging of moods as I have been a diagnosed bi-polar since early childhood. Having said that I am currently at AKUH, ward C ~ 0 where I am recuperating and receiving treatment [counseling/physiotherapy/medical assistance].
13. Q: How would you rate your experience at AKUH, Karachi, Pakistan? A: ******* [seven star experience]
14. Q: Can u identify the „unknown personnel‟ you speak of that have been victims of your physical abuse since the age of 3? A: Mr. Mohammad Uzair Akram [myself], Mr. Rizwan Ahmed Malik [my best friend], Mr. Mohammad Ejaz [my driver since early childhood], Mr. Parvez Akram [my father], Ms. Zaira Akram [my sister], Mrs. Anjum Parvez [My Mother] & Lastly Mr. Riaz [my man servant since the last 9 years] not to mention the two strangers I‟ve beaten to a pulp when they violated the basic human rights of my female friends back when I was in college.
15. Q: What is your nationality sir? A: I was born in Karachi, Pakistan. I have a Pakistani Passport.
16. Q: You look scary as hell sir, with all due respect, how do we know Mohammad Uzair Akram is NOT a terrorist? A: My five year multiple entry United States Visa on my current passport that has been through clearance by the CIA and FBI and other agencies should take care of your concerns.
17. Q: What are your religious views sir? A: I believe in GOD, and whilst my passport states I‟m a Muslim, I believe Nature is my Religion and the Earth is my Temple.
18. Q: With the death of Human Consciousness in the moment we all know as „NOW‟, and the global gang-rape of humanity by humanity itself; are you under the banner of UECHO proposing a solution? A: I seek to silently inspire, NOT dictate. I agree that the pen is mightier than the sword, however, a picture is worth a thousand words is something I‟ve learnt over the last 18 years of my formal and informal art and design education. I believe that whilst money pays our bills, it‟s love that makes the world go round. UECHO has been working on „The Greatest Love Story nEVER Told ~ a casual stroll through tHIS cosmos as seen through the art of Mohammad Uzair Akram – a slideshow of the last 18 years of Mohammad Uzair Akram‟s work accompanied by a collection of 33 songs that have been echoing in tHIS life… The same slideshow shall be shared over the internet with a global audience as soon as we can work out the „creative commons licenses‟ to use the music by the various artists.
19. Q: Can you elaborate on „The Greatest Love Story nEVER Told…‟ by telling us a little bit more about the female lead „HEeR‟? A: It‟s a project I‟ve been working on since January 1st, 2002 and just finished on May 9, 2013. It started off as a painting on Christmas eve, 2005 that got finished in April 2013 when the last „stroke‟ was added. This painting inspired a letter, a slideshow, a series of short films, a broadway musical and a feature length film that I shall be working on the production of in the near future. HEeR aka. My first wife from Christmas Eve 2005; is nothing more than a figment of my own imagination; my inner female… She is, however, nonetheless tHIS leading lady in „The Greatest Love Story Never Told…‟ an original story inspired by the true life events of Mohammad Uzair Akram. She is the faceless woman in the central sphere of my drawing „Omniverse‟ and the „blue, pink and purple‟ circle in the painting titled „The
Greatest Love Story nEVER Told…‟ HEeR is also the female that stars with me in all my paintings and one sculpture that fall under the name of „God‟s Machinery I ~ X‟.
20. Q: When are u going to share this inspiring work with the rest of the world? A: When I‟m ready to.
21. Q: Any Launch Date/Venue/Party planned? A: No comments…
22. Q: What‟s your favorite non-original quote? A: “Revenge is a dish best served Ice Cold…” ~ source unknown
23. Q: Do you have difficulty in forgiving and forgetting? A: No issues forgiving, I forgive myself every night so that the God I believe in can forgive me as well. My photographic memory [a blessing and a curse] on the other hand doesn‟t permit me to forget anything barring a few moments of life that I believe are the „bad sectors in my memory‟s hard disk.
24. Q: What‟s your favorite original quote? A: “Life is like a film; you laugh when it‟s funny; cry when it‟s sad; close your eyes when it gets scary, express awe when it‟s cute. You touch yourself during the make out scenes and then the credits roll …” ~ Mohammad Uzair Akram
25. Q: Do you have regrets in your life? A: If given a second chance to relive my life any other way; I‟d repeat every act of cruelty and kindness I‟ve expressed in exactly the same way. I hope that answers your question.
26. Q: What is UECHO? A: The first rule of UECHO is that you don‟t talk about UECHO. Enough Said. Thank you for your time and concern[s].
27. Q: What if I need to ask you something else in the future? A: Get an appointment by whatsapp on +923162000008
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Twitter : @uzairakram
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